Nathan's Haven Invasion

Hey all, Just letting you know for those of you that still read this blog, that my other blog is much much better. Just check it out. You'll like it, and then you'll tell your friends about it, and then they'll tell their friends, and so on and so forth. Seriously just type in the search bar nathanshaveninvasion.blogspot.com to be transported to a world of intelligence and amusement. And be sure to request topics for me to either blog or make a video about.

YouTube

Hey all, I have gotten a few videos up on youtube under NathansHavenInvasion, expect several videos a week. be sure to check out my new blog, NathansHavenInvasion.blogspot.com

Coming Out, YouTube Channel, and New Blog...Maybe...

Hey Guys, so recently I came out to my friends and family as transgender, and some of them are taking it well, and some of them are not. Any way so the name "Adam Hart" was just a cover name so I didn't get outed by anybody, so nobody would really know whats up unless I told them. But so recently I came out and now pretty much everybody knows. That being said, my real name is Nathan Brewer, and I'm going to create a new blog and perhaps a YouTube channel to document my real transition. It will be called NathansHavenInvasion.blogspot.com and my YouTube Channel will be under the same name, Nathans Haven Invasion. So just remember that, and I will still post on this blog, just to let you know when upcoming videos are due, and to get some ideas of what you guys want to talk about. BUT SERIOUSLY CHECK OUT MY NEW BLOG!!! also I just made a tumblr called....yupp you guessed it NathansHavenInvasion

Wanting More Guy Friends

Hey guys, another post about transitioning and such stuff. So I’ve been trying to pass more and more as male, and it doesn’t really work. I mean sure I wear masculine clothes, but quite honestly I think everybody assumes I’m a girl who wears male clothing, or I’m a butch lesbian or something. I don’t know, even with my parents it’s hard to tell because my Mom just blows it off, she has what I call Ostrich Syndrome because she sticks her head in the sand and pretends it’s not there and/or not happening. With my Dad, it is easier to talk about things with him that are “masculine” and he has bought me a binder and such but as far as that, I’m not really getting anywhere with him. As for friends, some of them know, some of them don’t, and out of the friends that do know two refuse to openly acknowledge it, and two others make fun of me for it, all my other friends are pretty chill about it though, which I am grateful for. But anyway so lately I’ve noticed that I want more guy friends. I really don’t enjoy being around a group of women if there are no guys around (there are a few exceptions) or I can handle it a little bit but my attention span is not nearly what it used to be, about nail polish, or what you’re wearing, or who stole who’s boyfriend. To be brutally honest, I don’t care if you’re boyfriend cheated on you and you still went back to him, that's on you, or if your dress makes your butt look big.

When I do my day to day thing, I am surrounded by girls, and the way they talk and the way they do certain things…it’s just annoying. Like the things they talk about, and how many times they bring it up. I know this all sounds horrible, but I think I really want some more guy friends, bio, trans, whatever. I guess I want more masculine friends. That’s not to say that I don’t have any guy friends, it’s just some of them are really immature. For example I have this one guy friend, (he knows who he is) and he just says the stupidest shit. He’ll laugh at me for being trans, and just say really inappropriate garbage. I remember he laughed at the new kid because she had blond in her hair and that somehow made her “dumb.”

So anyway, wanting more male friends, I have a bunch of girlfriends (girls who are my friends) I don’t feel like I need any more. I’m not saying I’m a dick to girls, it’s just I have this craving to have “guy time.” To do more stereotypical guy things, with other guys.

And it’s interesting, I never thought I’d want to distance myself like that, I never really thought it would be that big of a deal to me. The majority of my friends are women, and it just seems to be a little too much for me right now, to me it’s like women, women, women, all the time. It’s always been like that, but as of late it’s really getting to me. I want to be able to do guy things with guys. If my school would let me, I’d play baseball with guys, on a guy’s team. You know what I mean? I just want to do more masculine things. What guys talk about and what girls talk about is different. It’s just different. I mean even if a guy wanted to talk to me about nail polish I don’t think it would annoy me as much.

I don’t know, I’m sorry guys, I feel like I’m rambling and saying the same stuff over and over again. It’s just I’m surprised at myself, I never thought in a million years I would feel like this. Don’t get me wrong I really enjoy girls company, they talk about different things and some of them are more emotionally aware. Alright that was it, if this sounded sexist or something, I swear that was not at all my intention. Peace.

What Would It Take To "Out" Yourself?

         So this is just a quick post, in which I want your opinion on, I had a few topics I wanted to talk about but I just had this burning question to ask my viewers. If you could “out” yourself to pretty much everybody, would you? Also another question: would you “out” yourself to everybody if it felt like outing yourself would lead to something good? Whether if it was for yourself or other trans people or to help people who don’t understand trans people, understand a little better. That’s pretty much it, I feel like this topic comes up after being out, or even before you are out because you are unsure what to do. I just want to know what would make you out yourself? Who would you out yourself to? Or alternately if you could make everyone forget you were ever female (in FtM cases) would you do that? I know those are kind of different questions but let me know, make a response or leave a comment, I’m really curious, just to know the deciding factor between outing yourself or staying completely stealth. I don't care if you're from the U.S, Russia, China, Brazil, Germany, The United Kingdom, whatever. Just let me know what you're thinking. Alrighty have a nice day guys and gals, peace.

"Gays Are Not People" Says Linda Harvey

You know I really try not to create posts announcing people who are the epitome of stupidity; because when I say the epitome of stupidity I really mean it. Sure I will call people an idiot or stupid for being as dumb as a sack of potatoes, but this goes far beyond that realm. I call it the “epitome of stupidity” because this is an example of pure, real, stupidity at its finest.

Linda Harvey has offered a rather interesting theory about why the Fourteenth Amendment's guarantee of "equal protection of the laws" shouldn't apply to marriage equality, or seemingly to gay people at all, for that matter, since "people are not naturally homosexual." Apparently, being a "gay person" doesn't actually qualify one as a "person" under Harvey's understanding of the Fourteenth Amendment.

 Her theory: “Why should the equal protection argument be made in favor of homosexual behavior, which is changeable?  People are not naturally homosexual, so the definition of ‘person’ in the Fourteenth Amendment is being twisted to make this assumption. ‘Person’ should be understood based on historic, beneficial, or at least neutral and fact-based traits; it should not be twisted to incorporate behavior that most religions and most cultures have said a firm ‘no’ to. It's also behavior for which there's no recognized science demonstrating a genetic or hormonal origin. And it's also not beneficial and does not stand the definition of marriage, used for millennia that is, the act of consummation. It's another sad fact of homosexual behavior that two men or two women can never consummate a marriage; they can never conceive children together. This should still have some standing and it remains a fact that there are only two types of human in the world: male and female.  Any other distinctions made are appearance, custom, and construction. So marriage is the lawful, orderly confirmation of what we already see in nature.”

Linda, why should the equal protection argument be made in favor of Christian behavior? Christian behavior is changeable; people are not born “naturally” Christian. So the definition of “person” which is used in the Fourteenth Amendment is being twisted to make this assumption. So in other words what you’re trying to say is that Christian people are people, but gay people are not in fact people. Oh, okay, got it, thank you Republicans.

“And it's also not beneficial and does not stand the definition of marriage, used for millennia that is, the act of consummation. It's another sad fact of homosexual behavior that two men or two women can never consummate a marriage; they can never conceive children together” Whoa hold on, two men or two women can’t consummate? Oh honey if only you knew how two men could consummate a marriage. But then again I doubt you’ve ever had sex that good.

 Here’s a question for you all. How many conservative Christians have heard the rhetoric of how same-sex marriages don’t count because nobody can get pregnant during the marriage? Because essentially you’re alienating those Christian conservatives who, for whatever reason cannot become pregnant.

“This should still have some standing and it remains a fact that there are only two types of human in the world: male and female.  Any other distinctions made are appearance, custom, and construction” So gay men and women are not actually male or female? This does not make any sense at all to me. So there are only male and female people? Apparently you’ve never heard of intersex people and you probably don’t care to know about them.

So Linda, I’m not sure if you are aware of this but sexuality, whether it’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, is not an activity. Your sexuality or lack thereof, is who you are as a person. If I never have sex in my life, I am still heterosexual.

Linda, all I really have to say is you need to be educated on human sexuality before you open your mouth. Because when you open your mouth and spew out trash like that, all you’re doing is showing how ignorant you right wing Republicans really are.

“So marriage is the lawful, orderly confirmation of what we already see in nature” So, Linda, I have to ask the question, when did you consciously choose to be heterosexual? How long have you been struggling with your same sex attraction? Essentially what you are trying to say Linda is that everybody is strongly bisexual. That everybody who identifies as being straight consciously chooses to be straight.

I don’t really know what else to say besides Christian fundamentalists need to stop. Its radical people like Linda Harvey who are oppressing the L.G.B.T community and it is so wrong for people to actually think that someone who is gay is not a person. Linda Harvey and all those other people like her, pull your head out of your ass now. That's what I'd like to say, but since that isn't very considerate to say, my advice to people like Linda Harvey and Fred Phelps (remember Westboro Baptist Church) is become more informed if you want to spew your hate around. So when you do spew hate, at least its informed hatred. That is all I have to say, Cheers.  

Fears

I read a quote last night that was incredibly meaningful to me. After reading it I started to think more and more about what this quote means to me, what it may mean to many others. This is the quote by Sigmund Freud: “Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worse, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within.”

When I read that quote I couldn’t help but think how true it is, most of all how accurate it is in today’s society. People being attracted to others, dating and relationships. People trying to express their feelings, if they like you or you like them. And I think that one of the biggest problems in today’s society is that nobody says how they feel. We’re taught in society to hold it all inside, that expressing how we feel is bad. They’re sad, or you’re sad but we don’t cry. We’re happy but we don’t sing or we don’t dance. We’re angry but we don’t scream. Because if we do, if we do any of those things, we feel ashamed. I think that it is one of the very worst feelings in the world, to hold everything in, but even I do it. So pretty much everybody walks around with their heads down, and nobody sees how beautiful the sky really is.

Seriously we all fear different things, but when you get down to it, we all fear the same things. For example, I am afraid of being rejected by my mother, father, family, and friends. I’m really, truly afraid of losing my family, because I had what some would call a “hard” birth. My mother had pre-eclampsia, a medical condition characterized by high blood pressure related to birth, and as a consequence, I was born two pounds seven ounces. I was a premature baby, and I’m constantly reminded that I could have died, so that means I should be happy being who I am: a girl. To me that seems like terrible logic. So what if I want to be a boy, in what way does that detrimentally affect my parents in any way at all?

Also I am afraid of losing my family in Scotland. I don’t really know them. Most of them are Catholics, and I just wonder if that could skew their opinion of me. I mean they seemed to accept gay and lesbian people, but I don’t know how they would accept a female to male transgender. It scares me that they may not want anything to do with me just because of who I am.

I am afraid of regretting my transition, when I’m older. More specifically I am afraid that when I look in the mirror, I won’t be able to recognize myself. Not just physically but emotionally too. I’m afraid of waking up, taking a shower, and looking in the mirror and going “who the hell are you?”

I am really afraid of always being different. Like being in a room full of people and just knowing that I’m the different one and that I will always be the different one in that room. I guess I’m afraid of being everybody else’s entertainment, something to look at, because in my mind I am incapable of truly being myself.

Alright, well that was my rant for the day. I hope you all have a lovely day. And if you feel so inclined let me know what you are afraid of. Oh and on the non-emotional side, I am really afraid of spiders. Ugh even thinking about them creeps me out.

Amanda Todd: Got What Was Coming?

So you’re going to have to deal with my incoherent thoughts because I’m exhausted from constant lack of sleep. Nonetheless I couldn’t stop thinking about this story I keep hearing over and over again. And I know it’s kind of late for me to comment on the whole situation, but I’m going to anyway, because I feel inclined to address something that really pisses me off.

So if you haven’t heard the story of Amanda Todd, she was a girl who trusted a guy whom she thought liked her. Now this is a scenario where girls want guys to approve of them for their body and guys take advantage of them. This guy takes advantage of Amanda, whom Amanda wanted approval from, and this guy gains her trust and then asks for “nudes” or naked photos. In this case this girl makes the mistake of giving these photos to that guy, which he eventually uses to blackmail her, he spread the images around school and it got so bad that the police became involved. What is really disgusting out of all of this is that there is a Facebook page dedicated to the photo that was released. This is a very real type of bullying that exists all over the world, and I am not going to sit here a tell you why bullying should not happen, I think my audience is smart enough to know that I believe that bullying is wrong. That being said I am not making this post to talk about bullying; I’m making this blog to call out the scum, the disgusting pricks who think that somehow this suicide was deserved. 

I don’t even know where to begin with this, I am not a professional at anything, really, but certainly not in understanding depression, however I do suffer from clinical depression so I have an understanding, no matter how slight, of depression. I can relate to people with depression and I know that it takes a lot of strength to commit suicide. Let me tell you that, sure people can sit behind a screen and judge you nine ways to Sunday because you have depression, or you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, but so many people don’t understand others who are struggling with depression or suicidal ideation. It is completely over looked by so many people, they’re judged as being weird or bizarre or whatever, when in reality you have no idea on how depression works in people. So this girl became extremely depressed from all the bullying, and when she committed suicide, there have been people going around saying that this suicide was deserved, because this girl made such a heinous mistake (which I agree she made a mistake in trusting this guy.) But there are people saying that if she hadn’t made this mistake she wouldn’t have killed herself. In other words her committing suicide is her fault. I’m sitting here at my computer thinking “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Every single person reading this post has made a mistake at some point in their life, you, me, Joe Blow from Kokomo, all of us has made at least one mistake in our lives. Just because you make a mistake, and this was a bad mistake on Amanda’s part, but that in no way says that she deserves to die, or that she deserves to kill herself. I’ve made some pretty bad mistakes in my life but do I deserve to kill myself because of it? No. People make mistakes, and if people learn from those mistakes, that is what matters. But no, no, she committed suicide because of all the bullying and all the nonsense bullshit she had to put up with for so long. There are scum, there are tool-bags out there who justify her suicide by saying she deserved it. I see and hear the phrase “she had it coming” when talking about Amanda Todd, people think that if you’re going to show your boobs to a guy you think loves and cares for you, and you want to be validated by the guy, and he takes advantage of you, that you deserve to die. No that is false; you do not deserve that at all, ever. No one deserves, no matter what mistake you have made, no one deserves to go through bullying and being completely humiliated by that mistake. Especially being told that they had it coming, that they deserved it. I can’t even understand the people who think that, you have zero concept of depression or bullying. In fact I would accuse you of being a bully yourself, if you think that Amanda Todd “had it coming.”

I mean I know we are a messed up society but what bugs me even more about this story is that bullying is getting ALL of the attention. “We shouldn’t bully, we shouldn’t bully” and I agree but nothing is stressed, nothing is focused on reaching to the people who are being bullied. That’s the problem! Yes bullying is a nationwide problem in The United States. Bullying happens, it’s wrong, it’s disgusting, and I agree with that. But what I don’t agree with is giving bullying all the attention, when I think we should be reaching out and help people who are victims of bullying. Watch Amanda Todd’s video, I watched it and I cried, my eyes got all watery and I got all emotional. Not that emotions are bad, but do you know why I cried? Because I could understand what she was saying. I understand bullying happens and it is not something to be taken lightly. But to you people out there who think Amanda Todd deserved what happened to her, let me be the first to tell you that you are in fact one of the bullies. You are no different from the people who black mailed her, and who put her in this area of her life where she had the strength, that’s right the strength, to commit suicide. I do not believe that suicide is always a cowardly act. I know people who don’t understand depression, or wanting to commit suicide, and they will say it’s cowardly. But the true coward, is the person who won’t reach out to someone else who is hurting. And that is all I have to say.

Did you know...? Part 2

Time for more “Did you know”. Hurray! Or Boo! Hiss! Depending on what stance you take on my blog

·         Did you know that the first sound recording ever made was “Mary Had a Little Lamb” in 1877 by Tom Edison?

·         Did you know that elephant trunks hold up to 1 ½ gallons of liquid?

·         Did you know that your body creates as much as two quarts of saliva daily?

·         Did you know that in Germany more people have the last name Schultz than any other name?

·         Did you know that the animal with the largest eyes on earth is the giant squid, with eyes as big as pie plates?

·         Did you know that Elvis Presley was thrown out of the Grand Ole Opry in 1954?

·         Did you know that Americans spend $8 billion a year on pornography?

·         Did you know that according to one poll nearly ¾ of all American women wear a bra that is the wrong size?

·         Did you know that the flu was first described by Hippocrates in 412 B.C.?

·         Did you know that The African Queen was originally supposed to star David Niven and Bette Davis?

·         Did you know that the first all talking movie was called The Lights of New York?

·         Did you know that only 2% of American homes don’t have a bible in them?

·         Did you know that “All in the Family” was the #1 TV show in America from 1972-76?

·         Did you know that you have about 10 gallons of water inside you which makes up 60% of your weight?

·         Did you know that it takes up to two million flowers to make one pound of honey?

·         Did you know that cold showers actually increase sexual arousal?

·         Did you know that Grace Slick named her child “god” with a small “g” because “we’ve got to be humble”?

·         Did you know that in Switzerland it is against the law to slam your car door?

·         Did you know that the geographical center of the North American continent is Rugby, North Dakota?

·         Did you know that the average American consumes almost 10 pounds of “chemical additives” annually?

·         Did you know that research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten Bananas?

·          Did you know that only 10% of the athletes who sign pro baseball contracts ever make it into the major leagues?

There, now I have finished this segment of “Did you know” and to be honest I almost bored myself to sleep, so forgive me if these are boring.

Did you know...?

·         Did you know you can buy beer brewed from bananas?

·         Did you know that Scotland has the most redheads?

·         Did you know that Hawaii is the only state in the U.S.A that grows coffee?

·         Did you know that all the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction were set to 4:20?

·         Did you know that in every Seinfeld episode ever made there is a reference to superman?

·         Did you know that all birds have to have gravity in order to swallow?

·         Did you know that a cat has 32 muscles in each one of their ears?

·         Did you know that Koalas sleep an average of 18 hours a day?

·         Did you know that Goldfish can see ultraviolet and infrared rays?

·         Did you know that the longest recorded chicken flight was a total of 13 seconds?

·          Did you know that when armadillos have 4 babies they are all the same gender?

·         Did you know that a Lobsters blood is colorless, but when exposed to oxygen it turns blue?

·         Did you know that an Ostrich’s eyeball is bigger than its brain?

·         Did you know when water freezes it expands by 9 percent?

·         Did you know that Giraffes and Rats can last longer without water than Camels can?

·         Did you know that an Iguana can stay underwater for a total of 28 minutes?

·         Did you know that cucumbers are 98 percent water?

·         Did you know that sound travels five times faster in water than in air?

·         Did you know that bulls run faster uphill than they do downhill?

·         Did you know a women’s heart beats faster than a man’s?

·         Did you know that fleas can accelerate 50 times faster than a space shuttle?

·         Did you know a woodpecker can peck 20 times in one second?

·         Did you know that the planet Mars only appears red because it is actually covered in rust?

There will be more to come but I am running out of time, so prepare for more “Did you know…” later today. I’m doing this because I feel like my topics are controversial (semi) and I feel I am doing a lot of religion bashing which wasn’t my intent when I started this blog.

In God We...Whoops... Forgot History

One of the most common assertions I hear in America by religious people is that America was founded upon Christianity. That America was founded upon Christian principles. And I just want to make this post to address to you that this is not true. It is just not true, and when you try to prove to me that it is in fact true, you make yourself look really, really, stupid and ignorant.

This here is the back of a one dollar bill, and on the back it says: In God We Trust. Religious folk like to point out that on most, if not all American Denominations (that has been made in the past thirty to forty years) has that phrase “In God We Trust” on it. Doesn’t it seem a bit fitting that all the hyper religious woo-woos out there associate their God with money? When I think of the root of all evil, as the Bible describes as money, I think of God.

We, as Americans, a nation as a whole, we have men and women who make statements in public forums that would be shouted down if they were generated by any other source than the majority religion; statements that marginalize those who don't share those beliefs. Let’s look at Sally Quinn and her piece in the Washington Post. Her piece “Romney Captures the God Vote at First Debate”  in which she responded to Governor Romney’s statement that all Americans are "children of the same God,”

Quinn wrote “This is a religious country. Part of claiming your citizenship is claiming a belief in God, even if you are not Christian.. We’ve got the Creator in our Declaration of Independence. We’ve got 'In God We Trust' on our coins. We’ve got 'one nation under God' in our Pledge of Allegiance. And we say prayers in the Senate and the House of Representatives to God...  Up until now, the idea of being American and believing in God were synonymous."

No you are wrong. Atheists and agnostics are making up an increasingly large slice of the American citizenry pie.  A poll in 2004 found that 9% of respondents claimed "no religion;" a similar poll in 2008 saw the same demographic jump to 15%. 

It would appear that Mrs. Quinn doesn’t know her history. The addition of "... one nation, under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance occurred in 1954, "to acknowledge the dependence of our people and our Government upon … the Creator … [and] deny the atheistic and materialistic concept of communism."  "In God We Trust" was added to coinage in 1955, and became the official motto of the United States a year later. Now, let’s go even further back in history to examine what was originally on the coin. The original motto was “Mind your business”

Quite frankly that is a fantastic motto to put on a coin. So here is my question for all you religious fanatics out there, why do you feel so strongly to ignore the constitution, in order to replace “Mind your Business” to “In God We Trust” as our national motto? Just some food for thought

Over Sexualization of Children

Alright, so this topic might seem a little strange to you, but in today’s society, specifically in the United States of America, the sexualization of children is becoming a nationwide epidemic. I am not exaggerating when I say nationwide epidemic, because I see that this problem is growing faster and getting bigger every day at an alarming rate. Every time I turn on the news, and see parents messing with their kids, just look at Toddlers and Tiaras, or Honey Boo-Boo, but most of all just look at the sexualization of children in which I am going to explain in this post, for those who don’t know what I mean.

I don’t know how many people remember but in 2009 the company that makes Barbie dolls had to remove several of their dolls, their reasoning being that, and these dolls are for young three or four year olds, one was called “Pregnant Barbie” which had a detachable stomach, in which the women was pregnant, and basically it was a pregnant Barbie. Now this gave the wrong impression to young children (I agree). Now, Barbie banned it and has had it removed. The second thing was another Barbie which was “Tattooed Barbie”, and “Tattooed Barbie” had inappropriate tattoos all over her body. Again these are for young children. And so yet again this Barbie was removed and actually I’m quite surprised that they haven’t come out with “Divorced Barbie” yet, but hopefully you understand my point, that these toys are developed and based upon society, sex, the sexualization of children, and what appeals to young kids. Which I don’t think getting pregnant at four or five years old is exactly what I’d call appealing or even possible, and I understand fully why parents wanted those Barbie’s removed. It’s just wrong in my opinion to sell that to kids, but for those of you who don’t know there is also a clothing line, and I have seen these clothes and they are just pathetic, they’re gross, especially for little kids to wear.

So this underwear is for girls who are four or five, kids who are probably right out of diapers, and that piece of underwear is pink and it says “Who needs credit cards?” I am not kidding. Do you not see what I’m talking about? What the problem is? This is a growing epidemic, you have four and five year old little girls, whose parents put clothes on them, not all parents of course, but it is getting worse. In other words, who needs a credit card, I mean you don’t have to buy child pornography, when here is this little girl wearing these little panties that basically invite people to sexualize her. That’s what that means. It is pulling people to look at young children, sexualizing them. I guess the problem that I have with that is not necessarily that the child is being sexualized, although that is wrong, but the problem is that the parents do not do anything about it. In fact if you read the articles based upon the Barbie scenario, and then the clothes being published with these girls wearing tight skirts, showing their butt and everything else, the parents think it’s a “minor” problem. They think “Oh, it’s okay, it’s okay to dress my child like that.” What they may not realize is that it is inviting people to objectify and sexualize their children at that young age. The terms that are being used to describe these young children whose parents dress them up like this, are called “hot-tots” or “prosti-tots.” Obviously its slang, but all this is doing is teaching young for to five year old girls that the most important thing is to dress up “sexy.”(I put Sexy in quotes because no matter how I look at it, toddlers are not sexy, at all, ever. Even if they have a ton of makeup on, that does not make them sexy, that makes them look ridiculous.) Or that the most important thing is to have a “sexy” body. This is being instilled in children at such a young age, because of the parents not standing up for their own child. To look cute, and pretty has developed into something so sickening, and depraved, that I don’t even understand how parents can think like this. What pisses me off more is that some parents just do not get it. They do not understand. They can’t comprehend why wearing “Who needs credit cards” on a five year olds butt is a problem.

The A.P.A., The American Psychological Association, {link} their research and study concluded that young females and boys, are growing up between the ages of seven to eleven years of age, and viewing themselves as sex objects. Not that people are looking at them as sex objects, but they are viewing themselves as sex objects and that (to them) is the only worth they have. The study goes on to say that these kids are experiencing an increase in depression, low self-esteem, low self-worth, academic failures in school, low confidence, and even increased likelihood of sexual activity at an extremely young age.

You as a parent need to be protecting your child’s innocence, take that darn T.V. out of their room. Take it out. Because you’re just exposing your young children to garbage like Honey Boo-Boo, Toddlers and Tiara’s, Fifteen and Pregnant, and all this other crap. I feel that parents and young teens are having children, not so they can raise them to be a good, functioning citizen, but they’re raising that child so it can be their own personal little Barbie. That they play around with, that they dress up, take to hair salons and all this other crap. They don’t have children to love and care for them, no they have that child so they can have their own real life Barbie. It’s sickening! It pisses me off so, so much. Do not buy inappropriate clothes for your children, so they look sexy, skanky, slutty. Your young child doesn’t deserve to grow up thinking that he or she has to appeal to people with his or her body. That is all I really have to say. Parents, wake up!!

Things you do not say to single people

Happy Single Awareness Day! (Yes I know this is two days late but I don’t care) Two days ago was Valentine’s Day or also known as the very over hyped, over commercialized, over stigmatized holiday ever, which I don’t even think deserves to be a day of recognition. But nonetheless todays post is of: Things you do not say to single people. If there is one day out of the year I get told more things that piss me off, it happens to be on Valentine’s Day. So let’s explore the things you don’t say to single people, so you can avoid getting punched in the face.

1.       “Oh honey, but you’re just so great at being single” Oh well how thoughtful of you. In other words you’re telling me I’m not good at being in a relationship with someone.

2.       “Oh honey, don’t you think you’re being a little bit too…”  In this type of situation what you need to do is turn the situation them. Tell them that they’re actually being the judgmental/picky one, because they are telling you that you should be less picky, when in fact they are the ones who are judging you. Quite frankly I hate it when people tell me I’m being too picky because, number one, I know what I want in a relationship and number two I don’t think that I’m being “too” anything.

3.       “Oh cupcake, my best friend who is 74 years old just fell in love for the very first time” So what you’re saying to me is I’m probably never going to find love until I’m about 75 years of age when I am wrinkled quite literally everywhere. Thanks for telling me I’ll find love when I look like a giant walking prune and so does everybody else. No thank you I’m not going to find my true love in a nursing home.

4.       “Oh honey, you should realize that not all relationships are a walk in the park you know” Then the husband or wife usually continues to tell about their significant other or partner is stubborn, or can be a real ass a times. And somehow I’m supposed to feel sorry that you have to go on vacations with said significant other. Please don’t try to under sell me the goal I want to achieve.

5.       “Oh honey, how are you still single? You’re so attractive?” In other words because you think I’m attractive therefore I should be in a relationship with someone. That is not only terrible logic but it is completely superficial to date someone or be in a relationship with someone purely based solely on looks. Or also the person saying “oh honey…” could be being entirely sarcastic in which case…that isn’t very nice.

6.       “Oh honey, how’s the love life going?” I’m sure we’ve all heard that one before, and the real problem with asking that is it makes us feel more alone, or more single, and it makes us realize how alone we really are. If you are like me and someone has asked this question your response may be something like this: “My love life? Oh it’s non-existent”

7.       “Oh honey, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be with you two” Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I always wanted to meet someone who knows the plans of the universe. So tell me what is meant to be?

8.       “Oh honey, why are you still single?” Why am I still single? Hmm probably because I don’t shower and I hate puppies. (sarcasm)

9.       “Oh honey, it’ll happen when you least expect it” How exactly can I expect less than never?

10.   “Oh cupcakes, you’re always going to be single unless you fix yourself up” So what you’re trying to say is that I have to be someone other than me. Not happening

11.   “Oh honey, you’re going to be complete one day” So I’m currently incomplete right now? Thank you for that.

12.    “I know you’ve been single for a very long time, but I have to ask the question, are you gay?” You know if I said I was would that get you off my back?

13.   “It must feel nice to be single” You know what? It probably feels so nice to be stupid.

And these are the things you do not say to single people on Valentine’s Day for the obvious reason it will piss us off.

Please Remove Your Rudolph From My Courthouse

This post is about a Dr. Phil show I saw the other night and about Christmas and other such holidays in the public view. So first off I saw Dr. Phil the other night with a family that was very religious and against pretty much how they identify as their daughter transitioning to male. So this trans-guy on there had not gone through any surgeries or anything, but he was in his 30’s and he had decided that he was going to get top surgery and also start hormones. So he went on this show because his family didn’t agree or whatever.

Honestly I don’t really like Dr. Phil, but at one point he asked a good question. He asked the guy one question. “Do you think that after transition, or after surgery, and after living as a male, do you think relationships will be harder?” The trans man responded with “No I don’t think relationships will be hard because I will fully be able to be myself, and with the love I have for myself, I will be able to build relationships” and he continued saying that even though some people won’t accept him, but the love he has for himself will conquer all other relationships. Dr. Phil proceeded to say that with the answer the trans-man had just given him, Dr. Phil thinks it’s clear that he should not transition yet.

My take on this, is surprisingly I agree with Dr. Phil. Because if you really think about it, if you decide to transition, and you think love will conquer all and that your life will be so much better, and your relationships will be better (relationships meaning: friendships, family members, and sexual relationships) I think that you are wrong. If you cannot acknowledge that relationships will be hard after transition, as whole as you may feel, it is just not going to work the way you think it may. If you go up to a guy or a girl, eventually there will be a time where you will have to tell them you are transgendered. That you do not have what a bio-male may have downstairs, and if you think that it isn’t going to affect that relationship, you need to be awakened. Honestly I truly feel that this guy was not ready to transition. He was fighting and I think that if you have to fight in your transition and fight really hard when you don’t have that much support, transition is going to be very difficult for you. I really have to agree with Dr. Phil on this one because if you think that after transition that everything is going to be grand and dandy, and you’re going to be totally fine, and every relationship is going to be fine because “I am a man, I’m a trans-man, but I’m a man” Yeah you’re a man. Mmmhmm you are, I fully believe that, inside and outside. But the view that other people may have is going to be different. Your relationships will be affected, oh they will be, trust me.

On to the next topic, this whole Christianity and public property, there’s a baby Jesus on my Courthouse thing. And I think it’s just hilarious, because here we have these Christian people (not all but some), hyper Christians if you will. Who think that all trans-gender’s and gay people are going to hell. Meanwhile there are all these other people going “you know what? You are basically shoving your Christianity down our throats because when I go by, I am pretty much forced to look at what you have in front of the courthouse, or what you have in all these public spaces” Okay? Yeah it’s true because it’s a public space, so it should be open to everybody. Nobody should feel threatened going into any public space, when it has to do with their religion or their gender or anything. But that isn’t my issue, my issue is that these hyper Christians went on T.V and said (drum roll please) “If you don’t like it don’t look.” Huh. Gee doesn’t that sound familiar? Because here I am thinking well if you don’t like gay people, don’t be friends with them or if you don’t like gay people turn the other way. If you don’t think two girls should be holding hands then don’t look.

I just thought it was funny because the same stuff they are spewing out to other people about their religion is the same thing we’re spewing out about our gender or our sexual orientation or whatever the case may be. I just thought it was amusing that they could go on T.V. and say “If you don’t like it don’t look” but when we say “if you don’t like it don’t look” they flip shit and say “It’s against the law” or “it’s against the Bible” or “it’s against what I believe”

It’s like they’re using our swords. They’re reaching into the gay, Trans, lesbian, all that stuff’s closet and pulling out our swords and fighting other people with them. But when we say “hey, oh can we have that back? That’s our line” they go “Oh, no, no, no, we can say turn your head but nobody else can turn their head to that. Pphh No way, I’m not turning my eye, I’m fighting for my right to be a Christian heterosexual, blah,blah,blah”

I just thought it was ridiculous

Real Men wear Pink Bro

So as of late, I have noticed that in the (trans) community a lot of trans guys and possibly girls, although I don’t know that many, feel the need to go to the gym, to like certain colors, and they can’t be seen liking girly chic movies, or they have to watch football.  And I feel that a lot of these guys feel the need to be almost what I’d call hyper masculine.

Now as far as my personal experience, I am a very sensitive person, I am emotional, I like the color pink (sort of) and I like the color purple (more than half of my wardrobe consists of one shade of purple or another).  I don’t watch a lot of sports, I watch some football, and it’s not because it makes me feel better about myself.  If I could legally drink I probably wouldn’t always have some “masculine” drink like a Jack and Coke in my hand, or it wouldn’t necessarily be a dark Guinness “manly” beer.

I guess I’m bringing this up because I was talking to a friend of mine who happens to be trans, and it was very interesting because I was explaining something, and apparently I was using the word “like” too much for his liking. So he says to me “Don’t you know that you can’t use the word, ‘like’?” And of course, I responded with a very intelligent sounding “huh?” So my friend goes on to say that I have to replace the word, “like” with the word “um.” And then as he continued to talk, he would say the word “like” and every time he did so, he turned to himself and said “it’s not ‘like’ it’s ‘um’, not ‘like’, ‘um’.”

This is totally and completely mind blowing. I mean the fact that this young F.T.M trans-kid already has to go through feeling like a boy trapped in a female’s body, now he has all these social standards to live up to such as I can’t say the word “like” I have to say the word “um”. I do not understand. If you are in a room, and you say the word “like” excessively, no one is going to think: *gasp* He said the word “like” he must be a chick. Nobody is going to think that, nobody. It is just ridiculous. You know?

I have a pink I-Pod, it’s hot pink, the hottest, pinkest, pinkiest pink you will ever see in your whole life. And guess what? I don’t care. My pink I-Pod does not make me a chick. Sure I like a lot of girly things, but that doesn’t affect how I feel. I think those “girly” drinks are cool, you know the ones  with the, you know, the little umbrella, and the pineapple, with the knife, or the Strawberry Daiquiris, and the fruity things. I mean if I do something, or wear something girly, maybe you’ll think I’m gay, but so what? What is gay? It is a man. End, that’s all I need to know. It is a man. It doesn’t matter.

There are so many standards out there, don’t make yourself have a check-list, because you know what? You are going to focus so much on being something that you are not. You are who you are, whether you are gay, straight, lesbian, bi, whatever you are, you need to be confidant. I don’t care if you are a purple Rhinoceros, with nine legs, a beak, and ginormous wings. It doesn’t matter, be that confidant purple Rhinoceros, with nine legs, a beak, and ginormous wings, because that’s who you are. If you are confidant, then the other Rhinoceroses, who are like you, can be confidant together, because you basically projected your confidence outward. Then you can go have confidence parades and crap.

Sorry I’m getting a little excited because I know this topic can relate to many people. There is nothing that can make you more of a man, or a women okay?  Seriously, there is nothing out there, because if there was I would have patented it already. You can get all the surgeries in the world, if you don’t feel like it inside, if you’re not confidant on the inside, it’s going to show on the outside. How do you live your life if you have all these standards to live up to? You need to reach inside of yourself, and you need to find that warm fuzzy spot, that you’re okay to be alone in, that you’re okay to sit around and do nothing in. It’s comforting and that is what I call confidence, that’s your manhood (or women-hood) as weird as it may sound. Your manhood (or women-hood, or whatever the case may be) is located directly in the middle of your heart, and it’s real little and squishy, and red and pink, and warm and fuzzy. I hang out there all the time, because it’s warm and fuzzy and all those nice things I just described.

But seriously be confidant. Walk into a room and look around and say “What’s up? This is me, you’re you, now let’s hang out” (whether or not you say ‘like’ or ‘um’).

                                                                                

#CutForBieber

What the hell? #Cut for Bieber? First of all I’d like to say a big “Screw you” to those of you who thinks cutting is funny, some form of joke, that you can do it anytime. ‘Cause it’s not. And second off I’d like to say a big “What were you thinking?” to all the people who cut themselves over Justin Bieber. I don’t understand, do you think it’s some funny joke? So the kid smoked a joint, he is an adult he can make his own decisions be it good or bad. Do not go cutting yourself over it because that is just going to make everything worse in the long run, for you, not for Justin Bieber. You cutting yourself is not going to change the fact that Justin smoked some pot. You cannot somehow magically change the past by cutting yourself. It is a very terrible way to go about it anyhow.  You are pretty much making a joke out of everybody who cuts. Because for some reason, hurting yourself is hilariously funny. If you think it’s funny then you don’t know why people cut. People cut because their past is so horrendous and miserable that they feel the only way to ease the emotional pain is to bring on physical pain.

But you are cutting yourself because Justin Bieber smoked some pot. Let that sink in, so you know how incredibly stupid that is. Don’t do that crap. You’re making a mockery and it pisses me off.

Now there are many problems with this, first off is the origin of the trend on Twitter. The origin of the trend is fake, but the trend is real, because the messed up troll is actually getting young girls to physically cut themselves. This is a prime example of where trolling has gone too far. It is one thing to try to get a reaction out of someone, but in no way is it acceptable to start a trend called “#CutForBieber” where you have vulnerable, young girls, and I understand that young girls are vulnerable and make stupid decisions, I fully understand that but when you trolls to actually take advantage of these young girls, who are doing an act which can permanently effect someone by cutting themselves, that is not funny! And it may be a joke; it may be a troll joke because I know last year there was a twitter trend called “#GoingBaldForBieber” where fans were convinced that Justin Bieber had cancer so they shaved their head in support. That is one thing, but to start a trend that can actually physically harm someone, and actually get them put in the hospital from cutting themselves is not only sickening, it is messed up. And that’s when you, as a troll, have gone beyond the realm of trolling, to being, or potentially being responsible for someone’s death, if they actually take the effort to cut themselves enough to where they actually have no choice but to be hospitalized, for losing blood, or self-harming too much. That is messed up. Don’t get me wrong, the fans who participated in cutting themselves as a protest against Justin Bieber smoking some pot, are morons. But at the same time, to take advantage, to prey on the vulnerable like that, is wrong in my opinion. Is this really what humanity has come to? To where you actually get people to harm themselves because you think it’s funny?   I don’t know about you guys, but self-harm, is actually a diagnosed issue, a psychological association, a problem that people struggle with, but there are you messed up trolls who think it’s oh so funny , to make a fake trend in which exploits the young, vulnerable fans, of Justin Bieber to harm themselves, not only ignores the real victims, who actually struggle with self-harm, maybe due to a traumatic experience like assault, it completely ignores the fact that there are real victims who are actually struggling with self-harm to these little fan girls who are cutting themselves because beloved Justin Bieber smoked some pot. This to me is the ultimate line that has been drawn of human depravity at the fact that someone can think that this is actually funny. I also have to touch on this subject, to the parents who have young daughters who look up to Justin Bieber, wake the hell up because this is something you need to realize: Justin Bieber is not responsible for the influence that your children have concerning marijuana. Parents are outraged that Justin Bieber smoked some pot. He is a legal adult, he is eighteen years old, he can do what he wants. But most of all you as a parent are placing Justin Bieber as a “role model” for your children and you’re upset that when he makes an adult decision to smoke weed. Why are you putting Justin Bieber on the pedestal for the influence of your own damn children when you should be teaching your children what is right and what is wrong. I mean you’re the parent here Justin Bieber is not entitled to represent your parental responsibilities for your own damn children, which in my opinion you aren’t raising correctly because they are cutting themselves due to Justin Bieber.

So if I’ve lost you along the way, the main point of this post was that there are fans doing this and that is wrong, but the biggest issue is that people think it’s funny. But of course that is what happens when you live in the world of the woo-woo.

No, You Don't Understand!

So I want to talk about a topic that hits close to home for me, and one that I plan to discuss in greater depth later: Depression. But right now, I want to focus on something that just really pisses me off, and I already know in advance that this topic is going to get me all worked up so forgive me, please. So this particular topic has to do with other people. If you have been through any traumatic experience(s) in your life, like sexual assault, physical abuse, substance abuse, eating disorders, self-harm, if you are diagnosed with depression, if you have gone through any of the afore mentioned things, or are still going through them, then this post is probably (hopefully) going to speak to you on one level or another. I am absolutely, completely, and without a doubt, sick and tired of people coming up to me and saying “I understand what you’ve been through.” Of course, there are some people who may in fact understand what I’m going through, but nine times out of ten most people who tell you or me that they know or understand what we’re going through, are morons. They’re stupid; they’re ignorant to the point where I want to start banging my head against the table.

You know why? Because they’re the same person who says to you or I “Oh, you have an eating disorder? Well maybe you should just eat more. If you eat more, then you won’t have an eating disorder” or “You’re depressed? That’s just a phase. You’re depressed, so why don’t you just stop being sad and instead be happy!”

Do you really think it’s that easy? Do you really think that being diagnosed with depression is something I just wake up with? That I can flip a switch and choose whether I’m happy or I’m sad? Hell no. I don’t know about you, and what you believe, but depression is a diagnosed issue. Do not tell me you understand, that when I wake up, (and most people don’t know this about me) but that when I wake up with this little nagging empty hole that I just can’t fill, that I’m just sad. I don’t know what was there in that hole before, but I’ll be damned if it is still there now, because it’s not. Sometimes I feel hopeless, discouraged, and then you have these idiots running around saying “you’re just sad” No! There is a big difference between being sad and being depressed. Do you know how many morons use the word depression in society today? It’s disgusting. The English language is going to hell. It really, really is. People say “Oh I didn’t get to get a video game yesterday, so I’m depressed.” Or “I didn’t get the clothes I wanted, so I’m depressed” No you are not! You are not depressed, at all, period, end of story, goodbye. You don’t even know what depression means, if you honestly think that you not getting Assassins Creed yesterday somehow makes you depressed. You are wrong. Depression is not a choice! The fundamental difference between sadness and depression is that sadness (usually) only lasts for a short time, and it is based on a situational event.

It just pisses me off when so many people throw around the word depressed, when they are not. And you can tell that they are not just by how they react. It shows how misinformed people are on these issues that don’t get talked about very much, whether it is suicide, self-harm, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, depression, anxiety, or whatever it is. There are idiots who have never ever gone through these types of situations, who come to you and tell you that “they understand.” If there is one thing more insulting, more offensive to me, it’s when someone like that comes to me and says “I understand where you’ve been, what you feel, what you think” when they haven’t went through jack shit their entire life. The reason I can say they haven’t went through jack shit is based upon their response to me. Any person saying that you should “just stop being depressed” or you should “just stop having an eating disorder” is one of these people who doesn’t understand, who hasn’t gone through anything in their own lives as far as traumatic experiences go.

It really grinds my gears when people claim to know what I’ve been through. If they came to me and said “Adam I don’t know what you’ve been through but I can empathize with what you’re going through” I would appreciate that far more than “I know what you’re going through.” Especially when you have no comprehension of those heavy issues that just get swept under the rug, out of sight, out of mind. So when you see me, and start to say “I know what you’ve been through” when you don’t know me at all, kindly just shut up. Unless of course you want your ignorance to show, then by all means, make yourself look like an ignorant fool. Honestly it is never as simple as it may seem on the outside. So please, please do not say “I understand”. Please. Okay rant over, I hope you all have a lovely day.