No, You Don't Understand!

So I want to talk about a topic that hits close to home for me, and one that I plan to discuss in greater depth later: Depression. But right now, I want to focus on something that just really pisses me off, and I already know in advance that this topic is going to get me all worked up so forgive me, please. So this particular topic has to do with other people. If you have been through any traumatic experience(s) in your life, like sexual assault, physical abuse, substance abuse, eating disorders, self-harm, if you are diagnosed with depression, if you have gone through any of the afore mentioned things, or are still going through them, then this post is probably (hopefully) going to speak to you on one level or another. I am absolutely, completely, and without a doubt, sick and tired of people coming up to me and saying “I understand what you’ve been through.” Of course, there are some people who may in fact understand what I’m going through, but nine times out of ten most people who tell you or me that they know or understand what we’re going through, are morons. They’re stupid; they’re ignorant to the point where I want to start banging my head against the table.

You know why? Because they’re the same person who says to you or I “Oh, you have an eating disorder? Well maybe you should just eat more. If you eat more, then you won’t have an eating disorder” or “You’re depressed? That’s just a phase. You’re depressed, so why don’t you just stop being sad and instead be happy!”

Do you really think it’s that easy? Do you really think that being diagnosed with depression is something I just wake up with? That I can flip a switch and choose whether I’m happy or I’m sad? Hell no. I don’t know about you, and what you believe, but depression is a diagnosed issue. Do not tell me you understand, that when I wake up, (and most people don’t know this about me) but that when I wake up with this little nagging empty hole that I just can’t fill, that I’m just sad. I don’t know what was there in that hole before, but I’ll be damned if it is still there now, because it’s not. Sometimes I feel hopeless, discouraged, and then you have these idiots running around saying “you’re just sad” No! There is a big difference between being sad and being depressed. Do you know how many morons use the word depression in society today? It’s disgusting. The English language is going to hell. It really, really is. People say “Oh I didn’t get to get a video game yesterday, so I’m depressed.” Or “I didn’t get the clothes I wanted, so I’m depressed” No you are not! You are not depressed, at all, period, end of story, goodbye. You don’t even know what depression means, if you honestly think that you not getting Assassins Creed yesterday somehow makes you depressed. You are wrong. Depression is not a choice! The fundamental difference between sadness and depression is that sadness (usually) only lasts for a short time, and it is based on a situational event.

It just pisses me off when so many people throw around the word depressed, when they are not. And you can tell that they are not just by how they react. It shows how misinformed people are on these issues that don’t get talked about very much, whether it is suicide, self-harm, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, depression, anxiety, or whatever it is. There are idiots who have never ever gone through these types of situations, who come to you and tell you that “they understand.” If there is one thing more insulting, more offensive to me, it’s when someone like that comes to me and says “I understand where you’ve been, what you feel, what you think” when they haven’t went through jack shit their entire life. The reason I can say they haven’t went through jack shit is based upon their response to me. Any person saying that you should “just stop being depressed” or you should “just stop having an eating disorder” is one of these people who doesn’t understand, who hasn’t gone through anything in their own lives as far as traumatic experiences go.

It really grinds my gears when people claim to know what I’ve been through. If they came to me and said “Adam I don’t know what you’ve been through but I can empathize with what you’re going through” I would appreciate that far more than “I know what you’re going through.” Especially when you have no comprehension of those heavy issues that just get swept under the rug, out of sight, out of mind. So when you see me, and start to say “I know what you’ve been through” when you don’t know me at all, kindly just shut up. Unless of course you want your ignorance to show, then by all means, make yourself look like an ignorant fool. Honestly it is never as simple as it may seem on the outside. So please, please do not say “I understand”. Please. Okay rant over, I hope you all have a lovely day.