Nathan's Haven Invasion

Hey all, Just letting you know for those of you that still read this blog, that my other blog is much much better. Just check it out. You'll like it, and then you'll tell your friends about it, and then they'll tell their friends, and so on and so forth. Seriously just type in the search bar nathanshaveninvasion.blogspot.com to be transported to a world of intelligence and amusement. And be sure to request topics for me to either blog or make a video about.

YouTube

Hey all, I have gotten a few videos up on youtube under NathansHavenInvasion, expect several videos a week. be sure to check out my new blog, NathansHavenInvasion.blogspot.com

Coming Out, YouTube Channel, and New Blog...Maybe...

Hey Guys, so recently I came out to my friends and family as transgender, and some of them are taking it well, and some of them are not. Any way so the name "Adam Hart" was just a cover name so I didn't get outed by anybody, so nobody would really know whats up unless I told them. But so recently I came out and now pretty much everybody knows. That being said, my real name is Nathan Brewer, and I'm going to create a new blog and perhaps a YouTube channel to document my real transition. It will be called NathansHavenInvasion.blogspot.com and my YouTube Channel will be under the same name, Nathans Haven Invasion. So just remember that, and I will still post on this blog, just to let you know when upcoming videos are due, and to get some ideas of what you guys want to talk about. BUT SERIOUSLY CHECK OUT MY NEW BLOG!!! also I just made a tumblr called....yupp you guessed it NathansHavenInvasion

Wanting More Guy Friends

Hey guys, another post about transitioning and such stuff. So I’ve been trying to pass more and more as male, and it doesn’t really work. I mean sure I wear masculine clothes, but quite honestly I think everybody assumes I’m a girl who wears male clothing, or I’m a butch lesbian or something. I don’t know, even with my parents it’s hard to tell because my Mom just blows it off, she has what I call Ostrich Syndrome because she sticks her head in the sand and pretends it’s not there and/or not happening. With my Dad, it is easier to talk about things with him that are “masculine” and he has bought me a binder and such but as far as that, I’m not really getting anywhere with him. As for friends, some of them know, some of them don’t, and out of the friends that do know two refuse to openly acknowledge it, and two others make fun of me for it, all my other friends are pretty chill about it though, which I am grateful for. But anyway so lately I’ve noticed that I want more guy friends. I really don’t enjoy being around a group of women if there are no guys around (there are a few exceptions) or I can handle it a little bit but my attention span is not nearly what it used to be, about nail polish, or what you’re wearing, or who stole who’s boyfriend. To be brutally honest, I don’t care if you’re boyfriend cheated on you and you still went back to him, that's on you, or if your dress makes your butt look big.

When I do my day to day thing, I am surrounded by girls, and the way they talk and the way they do certain things…it’s just annoying. Like the things they talk about, and how many times they bring it up. I know this all sounds horrible, but I think I really want some more guy friends, bio, trans, whatever. I guess I want more masculine friends. That’s not to say that I don’t have any guy friends, it’s just some of them are really immature. For example I have this one guy friend, (he knows who he is) and he just says the stupidest shit. He’ll laugh at me for being trans, and just say really inappropriate garbage. I remember he laughed at the new kid because she had blond in her hair and that somehow made her “dumb.”

So anyway, wanting more male friends, I have a bunch of girlfriends (girls who are my friends) I don’t feel like I need any more. I’m not saying I’m a dick to girls, it’s just I have this craving to have “guy time.” To do more stereotypical guy things, with other guys.

And it’s interesting, I never thought I’d want to distance myself like that, I never really thought it would be that big of a deal to me. The majority of my friends are women, and it just seems to be a little too much for me right now, to me it’s like women, women, women, all the time. It’s always been like that, but as of late it’s really getting to me. I want to be able to do guy things with guys. If my school would let me, I’d play baseball with guys, on a guy’s team. You know what I mean? I just want to do more masculine things. What guys talk about and what girls talk about is different. It’s just different. I mean even if a guy wanted to talk to me about nail polish I don’t think it would annoy me as much.

I don’t know, I’m sorry guys, I feel like I’m rambling and saying the same stuff over and over again. It’s just I’m surprised at myself, I never thought in a million years I would feel like this. Don’t get me wrong I really enjoy girls company, they talk about different things and some of them are more emotionally aware. Alright that was it, if this sounded sexist or something, I swear that was not at all my intention. Peace.

What Would It Take To "Out" Yourself?

         So this is just a quick post, in which I want your opinion on, I had a few topics I wanted to talk about but I just had this burning question to ask my viewers. If you could “out” yourself to pretty much everybody, would you? Also another question: would you “out” yourself to everybody if it felt like outing yourself would lead to something good? Whether if it was for yourself or other trans people or to help people who don’t understand trans people, understand a little better. That’s pretty much it, I feel like this topic comes up after being out, or even before you are out because you are unsure what to do. I just want to know what would make you out yourself? Who would you out yourself to? Or alternately if you could make everyone forget you were ever female (in FtM cases) would you do that? I know those are kind of different questions but let me know, make a response or leave a comment, I’m really curious, just to know the deciding factor between outing yourself or staying completely stealth. I don't care if you're from the U.S, Russia, China, Brazil, Germany, The United Kingdom, whatever. Just let me know what you're thinking. Alrighty have a nice day guys and gals, peace.

"Gays Are Not People" Says Linda Harvey

You know I really try not to create posts announcing people who are the epitome of stupidity; because when I say the epitome of stupidity I really mean it. Sure I will call people an idiot or stupid for being as dumb as a sack of potatoes, but this goes far beyond that realm. I call it the “epitome of stupidity” because this is an example of pure, real, stupidity at its finest.

Linda Harvey has offered a rather interesting theory about why the Fourteenth Amendment's guarantee of "equal protection of the laws" shouldn't apply to marriage equality, or seemingly to gay people at all, for that matter, since "people are not naturally homosexual." Apparently, being a "gay person" doesn't actually qualify one as a "person" under Harvey's understanding of the Fourteenth Amendment.

 Her theory: “Why should the equal protection argument be made in favor of homosexual behavior, which is changeable?  People are not naturally homosexual, so the definition of ‘person’ in the Fourteenth Amendment is being twisted to make this assumption. ‘Person’ should be understood based on historic, beneficial, or at least neutral and fact-based traits; it should not be twisted to incorporate behavior that most religions and most cultures have said a firm ‘no’ to. It's also behavior for which there's no recognized science demonstrating a genetic or hormonal origin. And it's also not beneficial and does not stand the definition of marriage, used for millennia that is, the act of consummation. It's another sad fact of homosexual behavior that two men or two women can never consummate a marriage; they can never conceive children together. This should still have some standing and it remains a fact that there are only two types of human in the world: male and female.  Any other distinctions made are appearance, custom, and construction. So marriage is the lawful, orderly confirmation of what we already see in nature.”

Linda, why should the equal protection argument be made in favor of Christian behavior? Christian behavior is changeable; people are not born “naturally” Christian. So the definition of “person” which is used in the Fourteenth Amendment is being twisted to make this assumption. So in other words what you’re trying to say is that Christian people are people, but gay people are not in fact people. Oh, okay, got it, thank you Republicans.

“And it's also not beneficial and does not stand the definition of marriage, used for millennia that is, the act of consummation. It's another sad fact of homosexual behavior that two men or two women can never consummate a marriage; they can never conceive children together” Whoa hold on, two men or two women can’t consummate? Oh honey if only you knew how two men could consummate a marriage. But then again I doubt you’ve ever had sex that good.

 Here’s a question for you all. How many conservative Christians have heard the rhetoric of how same-sex marriages don’t count because nobody can get pregnant during the marriage? Because essentially you’re alienating those Christian conservatives who, for whatever reason cannot become pregnant.

“This should still have some standing and it remains a fact that there are only two types of human in the world: male and female.  Any other distinctions made are appearance, custom, and construction” So gay men and women are not actually male or female? This does not make any sense at all to me. So there are only male and female people? Apparently you’ve never heard of intersex people and you probably don’t care to know about them.

So Linda, I’m not sure if you are aware of this but sexuality, whether it’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, is not an activity. Your sexuality or lack thereof, is who you are as a person. If I never have sex in my life, I am still heterosexual.

Linda, all I really have to say is you need to be educated on human sexuality before you open your mouth. Because when you open your mouth and spew out trash like that, all you’re doing is showing how ignorant you right wing Republicans really are.

“So marriage is the lawful, orderly confirmation of what we already see in nature” So, Linda, I have to ask the question, when did you consciously choose to be heterosexual? How long have you been struggling with your same sex attraction? Essentially what you are trying to say Linda is that everybody is strongly bisexual. That everybody who identifies as being straight consciously chooses to be straight.

I don’t really know what else to say besides Christian fundamentalists need to stop. Its radical people like Linda Harvey who are oppressing the L.G.B.T community and it is so wrong for people to actually think that someone who is gay is not a person. Linda Harvey and all those other people like her, pull your head out of your ass now. That's what I'd like to say, but since that isn't very considerate to say, my advice to people like Linda Harvey and Fred Phelps (remember Westboro Baptist Church) is become more informed if you want to spew your hate around. So when you do spew hate, at least its informed hatred. That is all I have to say, Cheers.  

Fears

I read a quote last night that was incredibly meaningful to me. After reading it I started to think more and more about what this quote means to me, what it may mean to many others. This is the quote by Sigmund Freud: “Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worse, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within.”

When I read that quote I couldn’t help but think how true it is, most of all how accurate it is in today’s society. People being attracted to others, dating and relationships. People trying to express their feelings, if they like you or you like them. And I think that one of the biggest problems in today’s society is that nobody says how they feel. We’re taught in society to hold it all inside, that expressing how we feel is bad. They’re sad, or you’re sad but we don’t cry. We’re happy but we don’t sing or we don’t dance. We’re angry but we don’t scream. Because if we do, if we do any of those things, we feel ashamed. I think that it is one of the very worst feelings in the world, to hold everything in, but even I do it. So pretty much everybody walks around with their heads down, and nobody sees how beautiful the sky really is.

Seriously we all fear different things, but when you get down to it, we all fear the same things. For example, I am afraid of being rejected by my mother, father, family, and friends. I’m really, truly afraid of losing my family, because I had what some would call a “hard” birth. My mother had pre-eclampsia, a medical condition characterized by high blood pressure related to birth, and as a consequence, I was born two pounds seven ounces. I was a premature baby, and I’m constantly reminded that I could have died, so that means I should be happy being who I am: a girl. To me that seems like terrible logic. So what if I want to be a boy, in what way does that detrimentally affect my parents in any way at all?

Also I am afraid of losing my family in Scotland. I don’t really know them. Most of them are Catholics, and I just wonder if that could skew their opinion of me. I mean they seemed to accept gay and lesbian people, but I don’t know how they would accept a female to male transgender. It scares me that they may not want anything to do with me just because of who I am.

I am afraid of regretting my transition, when I’m older. More specifically I am afraid that when I look in the mirror, I won’t be able to recognize myself. Not just physically but emotionally too. I’m afraid of waking up, taking a shower, and looking in the mirror and going “who the hell are you?”

I am really afraid of always being different. Like being in a room full of people and just knowing that I’m the different one and that I will always be the different one in that room. I guess I’m afraid of being everybody else’s entertainment, something to look at, because in my mind I am incapable of truly being myself.

Alright, well that was my rant for the day. I hope you all have a lovely day. And if you feel so inclined let me know what you are afraid of. Oh and on the non-emotional side, I am really afraid of spiders. Ugh even thinking about them creeps me out.